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The Caveman Chronicles

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  • Originally posted by Fruitbat View Post
    ...... with you forced patina / distressed look .
    Avoid 'forcing' FTW.

    From personal experience I can recommend a fibre rich diet, including lots of soft figs and prunes, and an established routine.

    They will restore that bounce in your step, and then you can leave all those walking sticks/ski poles at home

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    • Originally posted by Jim24 View Post

      Avoid 'forcing' FTW.

      From personal experience I can recommend a fibre rich diet, including lots of soft figs and prunes, and an established routine.

      I’ll try the prunes and figs as I’m laying some rather large logs at the moment .

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      • My aux belt has always squeaked at low revs when steering/under load. I changed the tensioner which helped a bit but it was still there. They my alternator sided on Tuesday so I went for the upgraded 180a version. Most of my 2.5tdi’s setup other than the engine loom is from the 2.4d so the alternator is wired direct to the starter and then battery. Not sure if I should wire it via the fuse box in front of the battery on a 175a fuse now but I doubt I’ll do anything until something fucks up.

        Anyway, the reason for this post and general drivel is that the standard alternator is solid whereas the uprated one has a clutched pulley. The belt squeak has totally disappeared! HEAVEN!!. I believe you can buy the clutched pulleys on their own. I would highly recommend.


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        • So you've silenced the pain?

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          • Originally posted by Activ8 View Post
            So you've silenced the pain?

            Sent from my SM-G988B using Just T4s
            I’ve silenced the belt. Other noisy pain and the visual pain of the vehicle in general still remain.


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            • I really need to get round to stopping the rain getting in: A mate has just bought the kit to pull the windscreens out so I better take a look at pulling the screen out this summer and getting some metal back in it and then some paint in it. Still think of doing this van in navy blue.


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              • So there I was, basking in glorious sunlight, breaking the silence and tranquility of south Leicestershite, roaring along showing a chav in a shitty mk4 golf 1.8t that not all 2.5tdi T4’s do 0-60 in 2-3 working days and top out at 80. The greatest hits of Britney Spears blaring out of the 6x9’s (Cheeseman approved), living life carelessly and fancy free.

                After a fantastic blast over about 5 miles of fast bends and faster straights I eventually pulled up to a set of lights that meant I was approaching the centre of leicesterstan. I arrived a good while before the yoof in his bland shitbox which gave me time to sort my hair which looked like I’d been dragged through a hedge backwards and throw my shades on to give it full James Dean coolness to aid in my gloating. This was the plan anyway. What actually happened was that as soon as I came to a halt and mid way through the second chorus of ‘Oops I did it again’ i immediately felt the van idling like dogshit. I turned the iconic Shitney down and heard what can only be described as a skeleton having a wank in a biscuit tin. The idle was also surging slightly, only about 50rpm and it sounded like it was struggling to keep going. Loads of vibration too.

                Fuck it I thought, it’s got 2 choices. Possibly a collapsed water pump pulley or sheared engine mount I though but quickly dismissed the latter due to the idle being off. The lights changed so I attentively pulled off (not in the same way as the skeleton under the bonnet in his biscuit tin) and as soon as it was above 1000rpm it was absolutely perfect. Fuck it I thought, it still has 2 choices, so I floored it. Still fine. Just idle was pigshit.

                Made a few stops through town, died laughing at the Volvo main dealer when the parts bloke told me my 27 year old 850 T5 has an outstanding recall for seat wiring. Dropped by the plumbers merchants and fucked off home.

                Spoke to the dogs when I got back then plugged the van in. No codes I didn’t already know about. Checked the Tdi timing graph, she was as wild as a crack whore at the bingo hall. Between 0.45-0.95. Pulled the pump belt cover off to see the tension had changed from being spot on. The belts do loosen up a tad and retard the timing but I knew it wasn’t that. Grabbed the belt and the pump was moving around! Loose bolts on the bracket to the block I thought.

                Nope: Somehow I’ve managed to snap the bracket clean though the pulley end so it’s just hanging on by the belt tension and 1 rear bolt at the back near the distribution ports/pump head. I pissed myself. I’ve never even heard of that never mind seen it before. Hahahahaha!! How the actual fuck does that happen? Would kill to know. Doubt it was me or the van and it’s power, must just be a defect in the casting. Mega.

                A quick search and count up and I have 5 spare pump mounting brackets so no stress, just a couple hours to swap and time it up. I would like to take this opportunity to throw on one of the volvo pumps I have here but I’m not sure I can be arsed or have the time this weekend.


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                • Ooooh nice and wtf?
                  The casting has managed 20ish years of support and stoic fastidiousness until you kicked the giblets out of it.
                  Well done Sir.
                  Long live the next arena contender, or will you be welding it to the block?

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                  • Originally posted by Activ8 View Post
                    Ooooh nice and wtf?
                    The casting has managed 20ish years of support and stoic fastidiousness until you kicked the giblets out of it.
                    Well done Sir.
                    Long live the next arena contender, or will you be welding it to the block?
                    The connection to the block isn’t the dodgy bit, it’s your prowess on photoshop that’s the real issue here.


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                    • True.
                      I'll try harder next time.
                      Last edited by Activ8; 20 May 2022, 10:20 PM.

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                      • Did it flash up ‘manifold danger’ and then the passenger footwell fell out?

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                        • Tentatively, not attentively.


                          Just saying.

                          You should always "pull off" tentatively.
                          Me cago en la madre que te parió!

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                          • Originally posted by arfur fox-acre View Post
                            Tentatively, not attentively.


                            Just saying.

                            You should always "pull off" tentatively.
                            The joke wasn’t lose but I meant what I wrong on this occasion. I was paying attention to what it was doing. Then just floored it and lit the front wheels up. I knew there’s an issue so it may as well go out in a blaze of glory on my terms. It didn’t though.


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                            • Originally posted by d-9 View Post
                              Did it flash up ‘manifold danger’ and then the passenger footwell fell out?
                              I would laugh at the randomness of this (randomness is my thing and it was funny) but after snapping this bracket fuck knows how I wouldn’t rule out anything like this warning and then the footwell skimming down the road. PMSL


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                              • Well then, still no fucking clue how but:

                                I decided (as I usually do) to go for the easier fat lazy bastard option and leave the pump in whilst I changed the bracket. Perfectly doable providing you break your wrists in 2 places to aid flexibility for access to the 3 bolts jammed between the pump and block. I must admit I did swear once or twice. Anyway, took over an hour to get it swapped, timed and running again. Threw it back together and fucked off out. I’ll check the timing at some point.


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