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The Caveman Chronicles

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  • Hans
    replied
    A other year, happy days Tom

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  • regcheeseman
    replied
    Mot tester wearing his helium filled shoes again?

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  • TommyP
    replied
    This shitheap passed its MOT with flying soot today.

    Wants 2 front tyres which I already know and a CV boot is getting iffy. Other than that the brakes are Bob on and balanced, the body is good and everything works that needs too. It didn’t until this week but a mad rush got it sorted.


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  • Activ8
    replied
    Fully retarded?

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  • TommyP
    replied
    I know you are but what am I?


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  • Activ8
    replied
    I'm wondering whether the word retarded brings on some teenage autoresponse to shutdown and babble incessantly?

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  • Activ8
    replied
    Pahahahaha.... What the chuff would you know about numbers beyond the digits on your hands and feet? That white shitbox is pulling enough air to satisfy even your desire for oxygen.

    As you're well aware, anyone who's trying to "work", move the job on, shut out your gibberish or simply been in your company, eventually - say just after 10 minutes - tells you to fuck off. It's a given.

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  • TommyP
    replied
    The oil marks are it marking its territory and serve as a reminder to you that you’re it’s bitch and property now.

    That free revving without MAF farts is telling I think. You kept wittering on about it being able to read lots of air but I’m not having it.

    I don’t know what your problem with my exhaust is? Not to mention I see you’ve rushed out and fitted your own side exit with jap crap JDM twin slash cut DTM. Like a Chinese trainee accountant would fit to his Lexus IS200.

    I like it, fuck you and the neighbours: https://youtube.com/shorts/TM_GIOwP-1U?feature=share

    Dunno what that timing is all about. A stretched belt would retard the timing and I had it set roughly between 60-65 with a view to advance it a touch more. It starts better on the possibly slightly worn injectors with a touch extra advance. I’ll knock it back a touch, not that it’ll make any difference to the power.

    20 odd degrees would seem good to you as you’re running a shitty top mount interwarmer.

    The greatest moment was you sat slumped on your office chair like Garfield after a large meal and throwing your head back and shouting “FUUUUCK OOOOFFFFF!” at me.

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    Last edited by TommyP; 21 October 2022, 05:19 PM.

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  • Activ8
    replied
    Tippex called me up yesterday (TP to you lot) his extended tea breaks had been rained off and he wanted to drop by .....

    We'd got to v14 at our last clash following some decent logging along the A516 Rolling Road sessions.

    Once the deciphered whinging had hushed, we took his van out on v14 to log his bantered evaluation real time. Oddly it didn't limp and tickled its way past 5k as mapped..... the silence was deafening over the 'xorst from hell. Why the fucker keeps coming back?

    The week between Tippexs' pavement oil deposits I'd constructively used the time to plot - from the fresh data gathered - a map for that mTDI "turdo" he'd extolled this past year. The LUK DMF oem clutch could now handle the power and a couple runs later we'd softened the smoke, to an acceptable haze. Out of interest I VCDS'd the timing, and checked/logged the temps.

    The timing was way out of spec at 089-095 (oem is 055), which brought on some quizzikle shocked language rant about where he'd set it on install, how he'd done it, how he'll rectify it etc.

    As for temps, we were getting 44°C to 56°C for fuel, some excellent 20°'s for post FMIC boosted air and 93°-95°C for coolant on a 2.4d sensor.

    Anyone else got any fuel temp measurements? I ask, to check against mine from June 2018 where they reached 29.1°C on a similar turbo'd comp/turbine, making 1.6 bar boost with the same injectors.

    What temp range should we be aiming for, are Tippexs' too hot, mine too cool or what considering it's being force fed through the VP37 design? There were no error codes , so wheres the optimum range?

    Anyhow, Tippex left on a tightened v20 remap to trial it for a week or so.







    Last edited by Activ8; 21 October 2022, 01:37 PM.

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  • Activ8
    replied
    An early call followed by TP dropping in!

    We installed v8 with improved throttle and fuel logged and ended up at v14 by 5pm. An early replacing of his MAF with my spare got us 15% more airmass, inconjuction with a Dyson blow job (for the panel filter) which was minging!

    It set off a whole new course of clutch slip, heavy smoke, "its too much.power + expletives" exchanges, a few limps until we ran out of fuel and runway as traffic built up around the Derby Metropolis.

    Last edited by Activ8; 11 October 2022, 06:18 PM.

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  • Activ8
    replied
    As we discussed in the week, noise pollution cameras are being trialled.

    Drive to the crusher, don't pass Go, don't collect your tools and pay the banker a few months earnings.

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  • TommyP
    replied
    The perfect exhaust is one that feels like it’s melting away the exhaust tip away from heat and decibels and not just something Boeing the carries the exhaust gas away quietly and without a sense of occasion.

    Not to mention it makes the big turbo sound like that of a 90’s intercity train.

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    Last edited by TommyP; 7 October 2022, 09:33 PM.

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  • TommyP
    replied
    Originally posted by Activ8 View Post
    ...... Or deaf?
    I think both this van and the Volvo will have to have exhausts with a flapper for fun and legal modes.


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  • Activ8
    replied
    ...... Or deaf?

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  • TommyP
    replied
    Originally posted by Activ8 View Post
    Dropped into TP's garage with v7 this afternoon. He's made great progress on Bens and at least cleared the empties and removed the bottles. He was sober enough for us nip out with vcds to log v7's progress before he fiddled with Bens parts.

    It was a good run out, fortunately with the window down his 'xhaust muffled the whinging and whining from both van & driver. It was like being in the belly of a dieting Jabba The Hutt, christ its loud.

    We captured an ongoing issue during the drive with the MAF (error code 17553/P1145, relates to the MAF itself or wiring) which needs tracing.




    I don’t think it’s that loud but maybe I’m just used to it.


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